If I close my eyes for just a moment
Perhaps I will not see what your eyes speak,
That which your tongue simply will not release.
If I turn my back hastily to you,
Maybe it will block your anger, your blame?
Kindly soften the burden of this pain.
If I beg and swim in a million tears,
Would I feel your arms surrounding me…
Will you take back “you made me lose faith in humanity.”
If I release you… let you go…
Perchance I can alleviate all that hurts.
Pick up my pieces, walk away, and learn.
If I was perfect, without mistakes…
I would have been exactly what you need,
Instead, imperfection got the best of me.
If I could make you love me…
Certainly I would take that chance.
But I don’t see love in your eyes, so I wander in the past.
© bipolarmuse 2012
** This poem is inspired by my Ex-husband. I left him in a most painful way, and the choice I made brought danger to my son… he was physically abused by a horrible man. I can’t help that I hurt…though I work on it daily. Had I stayed and leaned on my husband instead of fleeing, my son would have never been hurt. Many days I have begged for him back, but my indiscretions were to much for him. I believe he also holds me partially responsible for my sons abuse though he has never said so. He doesn’t need to say it, I see it. One day when I was asking him if we could try again and start over new, he literally said, “you made me lose faith in humanity.” Those words have been the most hurtful words I have ever heard and they torment me to this day. I am healing though. Everything heals in due time. Hopefully sooner rather than later. 2 years has been long enough… it is time to let go. **