“Men often become what they believe themselves to be. If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it even if I didn’t have it in the beginning.”~Mahatma Gandhi quote
The power of the mind is amazing. While we may think “they are just thoughts”, our thoughts help to mold our outlook on life. They can either lift us up or bring us down. When you truly think about it, our mind has the power to destroy us or transform our works into success. This all happens with a thought…which will lead to more thoughts. One thing that is very important to me is to remove the word “can’t” from the vocabulary of my children. When I hear that word, I help them to rephrase their sentence to reflect that they are “having difficulty” with what they are doing and to ask for assistance. But “can’t”… nope, that word is the devil and it has gotten me a couple of times. I now practice what I preach.
Take me for example… Even to this day, images swirl in my head of scenarios of what my son had to endure when he was abused. These thoughts are TOXIC. Absolutely 100% toxic. What purpose do they serve other than to break me down over and over again?? They are only there to hurt me and to prevent me from moving forward.
Happily, I can share with you that I have gotten better and better at living in the now and when those negative, toxic thoughts pop into my head…. I acknowledge the pain, then I redirect my train of thought. This has prevented me from breaking down that which I have built up.
Practice this for a day: Attempt to recognize when a negative thought comes into your mind… just this recognition is a huge step because it is like stopping it dead in its tracks. Say “hey, what purpose do you serve me?” Acknowledge the thought without judgement. Then redirect your thoughts to something positive.
For example: A thought pops into your head telling you that you are worthless. Acknowledge the thought. Then immediately redirect your thinking to something positive. Talk back to your mind! I do. Say “stupid brain, I am not worthless.” And then think of things you are good at: I am good at making others laugh, I am good at throwing on pajamas, drinking hot tea, and watching Breaking Bad, I am good at learning new things, I am getting better at squashing your negative ways dear brain…etc, etc.
Don’t let your thoughts control you. Learn to control your thoughts.
Being mindful is the key.
Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) has been a saving grace for me…as much as medications have been.
Check out this Self Help DBT site.
Much love my friends. I have been on the brink of self annihilation… if I can learn these skills and grow and move forward… anyone can. I wouldn’t have believed it 2 years ago… but therapy and practice has proved me wrong.