You Are What You Believe Yourself To Be

“Men often become what they believe themselves to be. If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it even if I didn’t have it in the beginning.”~Mahatma Gandhi quote

The power of the mind is amazing. While we may think “they are just thoughts”, our thoughts help to mold our outlook on life. They can either lift us up or bring us down. When you truly think about it, our mind has the power to destroy us or transform our works into success. This all happens with a thought…which will lead to more thoughts. One thing that is very important to me is to remove the word “can’t” from the vocabulary of my children. When I hear that word, I help them to rephrase their sentence to reflect that they are “having difficulty” with what they are doing and to ask for assistance. But “can’t”… nope, that word is the devil and it has gotten me a couple of times. I now practice what I preach. :)

Take me for example… Even to this day, images swirl in my head of scenarios of what my son had to endure when he was abused. These thoughts are TOXIC. Absolutely 100% toxic. What purpose do they serve other than to break me down over and over again?? They are only there to hurt me and to prevent me from moving forward.

Happily, I can share with you that I have gotten better and better at living in the now and when those negative, toxic thoughts pop into my head…. I acknowledge the pain, then I redirect my train of thought. This has prevented me from breaking down that which I have built up.

Practice this for a day: Attempt to recognize when a negative thought comes into your mind… just this recognition is a huge step because it is like stopping it dead in its tracks. Say “hey, what purpose do you serve me?” Acknowledge the thought without judgement. Then redirect your thoughts to something positive.

For example: A thought pops into your head telling you that you are worthless. Acknowledge the thought. Then immediately redirect your thinking to something positive. Talk back to your mind! I do. Say “stupid brain, I am not worthless.” And then think of things you are good at: I am good at making others laugh, I am good at throwing on pajamas, drinking hot tea, and watching Breaking Bad, I am good at learning new things, I am getting better at squashing your negative ways dear brain…etc, etc.

Don’t let your thoughts control you. Learn to control your thoughts.

Being mindful is the key.

Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) has been a saving grace for me…as much as medications have been.

Check out this Self Help DBT site.

Much love my friends. I have been on the brink of self annihilation… if I can learn these skills and grow and move forward… anyone can. I wouldn’t have believed it 2 years ago… but therapy and practice has proved me wrong.

11 thoughts on “You Are What You Believe Yourself To Be”

    1. I agree… easier said than done. I had many YEARS where I didn’t believe in this… thought it was a bunch of BS. My last therapist knew that I was skeptical, no therapist had ever “reached me before”, I thought it was all a waste. She told me to give it a year… and to truly practice these steps. At first it felt pointless. But now that it has been over a year… I can see where it has worked in my life. Definitely isn’t instant gratification, it took time… lots of work… and MANY tears. I feel lucky that it has helped me so much. I hope that others will read this and at least give it a try and have the hope that it will work. ♥
      Thank you for sharing your thoughts Guapo… always appreciated. :-D


      1. It’s like smiling. Even if you don’t feel like it, sometimes just forcing your mouth into the shape and holding it a minute makes you feel a little happier…
        (not sure where I heard that, but I was shocked to find it was true.)


  1. I also had a wonderful counsellor who worked with me for a long time using this method – and have been practicing it in my life the last couple of years … and yes, it does work! I am so proud of you, dear Muse! Sending you much love and hugs! ~ Love, Julie xoxox


    1. It is such an amazing practice… seems so simple… yet it does take practice. I am glad that it worked for you as well. It is as if we “rewire” our brains to think differently. ♥


  2. this is a great post and wonderful work to. I too, work with mindfulness and have done several courses of DBT. Great course,, not easy to live, but the best model! Love, Linda


    1. I agree… it is the best model…and not so easy to do. I must practice it daily…even if just for a moment. The more I make myself “aware”, the more aware I become without noticing. xo


  3. Powerful quote, and so much truth it is scary. Sometimes, it is hard to face the truth in this. Having so much ability and power in our own hands is all we ever cry for, but realizing we have it is a daunting thought, and one that makes us think what we thought we were wishing for all along…
    But I for one am glad, because as long as the motive is love, we cannot steer too far off course…..I really enjoyed this post, thank you….


  4. I love DBT and find it soo so helpful, too! It’s a bit difficult to grasp at first but once you get the hang of it, it’s incredibly effective. Thank you for sharing the self-help link!


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