Lovely. So I just posted the Psychosis article a couple days ago, and I have been trying to do some analyzing over why I am hearing these soft sounds play in my head, and in doing so, came to the conclusion that I have been relatively “stress free” since my move. I now laugh at that statement because I know myself all to well, and I will be the first to tell you that stress manifests itself in my body FIRST and that is how I recognize it is even there.
Stress will manifest as a sick stomach, high blood pressure, sleep loss, panic attacks, general anxiety, and I guess I can now add psychosis to that little list.
I must honestly say that I believe the move has gone well. I have seen a-lot of my big kids and have managed to schedule a visit to the babies for 11 days next month!!! (29 days to go!) I guess my biggest stress is money… but I have managed thus far.
Now I have noticed a second clue to my “stress” which is my sleep pattern. I have gone from sleeping very well…literally out like a light and sleeping about 9 hours, occasionally more (which is not odd for me)… to tossing and turning and waking up many times in the middle of the night. The sleep issue reared it’s head about Thursday night, so it has lasted nearly a week.
With Bipolar Disorder, sleep patterns and GETTING sleep is highly important. (Sleep and Mood Disorders) When your not getting enough sleep, this usually will trigger a manic episode, which of course, needs to be prevented. Even on meds, when triggered, mania is possible… as is depression. I would like to hope that since I have been taking my medications like a good girl, if mania does strike, it will not be severe and it should be short lived. This is my hope.
So my plan?? Try to get into a PDoc (I am having a tough time finding good resources for this service at a reduced cost), and tonight I plan to go through a nice pre-sleep ritual. Take a nice warm bath, drink some warm milk with a touch of sugar and cinnamon, read for a short time, take meds, turn the light out, place my eye covers over my eyes, and throw on my favorite lip gloss. As I lay there, I will focus on nothing but the moment and every time my mind wanders off to race (as it has been doing), I will reign it in and once again focus on the moment. How do I do this?? I like to imagine a soft light enveloping me, warming me… and I keep my mind focused on this light. Each time thoughts pop into my mind, or my mind wanders off, I bring it back to the soft, warm light.
Here’s to getting my sleep on track, and preventing a manic episode because what follows mania?? Depression… without fail. And THAT is the devil I don’t like to deal with the most. ♥
On second thought, I could be in the beginning stages of mania ALREADY. Agh. That is a different post altogether. Crossing my fingers that this isn’t the case, but it would certainly explain a few things.