This song is so stuck in my head!! It has been playing in my mind for about a week now!
Safe and Sound
When I was first diagnosed with mental disorders I thought “ok, I can do this. I have been living this way as long as I can remember”…. then the stigma of it hit me like a tidal wave and I had to pretend that all was ok. I was told everything from “meds make you a zombie”, I “feel like I have lost my sister” (told to me by my younger sister because the meds dulled me down), “you don’t look sick, it is all in your mind”, “Pull out of it like the rest of us do”, “the doctors are just telling you something is wrong so you go back and they make money off of you”… etc. I am sure that those of you with mood/mental disorders have heard these lines or something similar.
It wasn’t until my last breakdown that I realized I would always…. ALWAYS…. need medication and therapy. My disorder ran rampant for so many years that it got worse and worse over time.
Now that I am in a better place emotionally, I see things differently. I finally smell fresh cut grass, rain on the hot pavement, flowers, bbq’s, and more. In the throes of depression, all of these things were muted for me. I have written about it before but I will write about it again soon.
Now, in this place I reside within my mind… though not perfect… I know that I will be safe and sound… I have taken extreme measures to get to this point.
When you are struggling and think you cannot go another day… hold on with all of your strength… and come here, or to Bipolarmuse’s facebook page to see that someone has made it against all odds, and you can too.
Keep breathing. Practice mindfulness. Be gentle to yourself.