Mood Disorders and the Artist
If any of you love to read… and especially psychology books, you would love “Touched with Fire” by Kay Redfield Jamison. She does a great job in her research of poets of long ago and connects them with a possible mood disorder based upon their writing, melancholy, suicide attempts, suicide deaths, and information gathered from their families/loved ones… where applicable.
It is no surprise that mental illness goes hand in hand with artistic talents… for some reason, more so with writers than other artists. There is a striking number of suicides by contemporary writers that goes on to help prove the point. Lord Byron is quoted as saying, “We of the craft are all crazy”. (Speaking of other fellow writers and poets).
During a control study, 80% of writers were found to have any affective disorder. Affective disorder is descried as ” mental disorder characterized by dramatic changes or extremes of mood. Affective disorders may include manic (elevated, expansive, or irritable mood with hyperactivity, pressured speech, and inflated self-esteem) or depressive (dejected mood with disinterest in life, sleep disturbance, agitation, and feelings of worthlessness or guilt) episodes, and often combinations of the two. Persons with an affective disorder may or may not have psychotic symptoms such as delusions, hallucinations, or other loss of contact with reality.
Think about it… 80% is a staggering number of writers to be found with mood disorders.
Poets have the highest percentage of Bipolar 1 Disorder than any other writers/artists, and also have the highest percentage for suicides.
The more I am spent, ill, a broken pitcher, by so much more I am an artist – a creative artist. ~ Van Gogh
Kay Redfield Jamison says ” Artistic expression can be the beneficiary of either visionary and ecstatic or painful, frightening, and melancholic experiences. Even more important, however, it can derive great strength from the struggle to come to terms with such emotional extremes, and from the attempt to derive from them some redemptive value”.
Depression’s no gift from the muse~ Robert Lowell
The book also mentions the creativity of the relatives of writers, parents – 7%, while siblings were 20%…showing a pretty strong link to the genetic predisposition of Affective Disorders and creativity.
There is a wonderful graph in the book that I wish I could put in this post but it would be excruciatingly long and painful to do. However, you can see it here. In this chart is a breakdown of particular artists and their possible mood disorders. It gives the breakdown of why they were believed to have mood disorders, what type, and notes if they committed suicide. Strikingly, there is a high rate of mood disorders, suicide, and institutionalization within the group of poets AND their families. “More than one half of poets showed strong evidence of mood disorders… 1 in 3 poets likely suffered from Manic Depressive Illness, aka- Bipolar 1 Disorder.” (Touched With Fire)
Here is a list of artists believed to have some form of mood disorder:
John Berryman Honore De Balzac
Hans Christian Andersen Robert Burns
Samuel Clemens Lord Byron
Charles Dickens Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Isak Dinesen Emily Dickinson
Ralph Waldo Emerson T.S. Eliot
William Faulkner Victor Hugo
F. Scott Fitzgerald John Keats
Ernest Hemingway Edna St. Vincent Millay
Henry James Sylvia Plath
Eugene O’Neill Edgar Allan Poe
Leo Tolstoy Anne Sexton
Tennessee Williams Ezra Pound
Virginia Woolf Alfred Lord Tennyson
Emile Zola Dylan Thomas
Walt Whitman Michelangelo
Irving Berlin Jackson Pollock
Noel Coward Vincent Van Gogh
Stephen Foster Edvard Munch
Cole Porter Mark Rothko
Paul Gauguin Georgia O’Keeffe
Touched With Fire by Kay Redfield Jamison is a wonderful book and really helps to piece together these artists and their often melancholic mood noted in their works.
I leave you with words by Edward Thomas… for those of you with mood disorders, this will hit home with you… for those without mood disorders, this gives you an idea of what it is like to have one.
“I stay because I am too weak to go. I crawl on because it is easier than to stop. I put my face to the window. There is nothing out there but the blackness and the sound of rain. Neither when I shut my eyes can I see anything. I am alone…There is nothing else in my world but my dead heart and brain within me and the rain without.”
Hyper-sexuality and Bipolar Disorder
“Manic sex isn’t really intercourse. It’s discourse, just another way to ease the insatiable need for contact and communication. In place of words, I simply spoke with my skin”. ~ Terri Cheney
Ahhhh, manic and hypo-manic sex. How many of you can relate to this?? Or admit to it? I certainly can. Hyper-sexuality and Bipolar Disorder seem to go hand in hand… mainly Bipolar 1 Disorder because it tends to be a “symptom of mania or hypo-mania”. Of course, hyper-sexuality can mean several different things: Thinking of sex more often than usual, having sex more often which would include a heightened sex drive, having multiple partners, indulging in porn, marital affairs, seeking excessive attention from someone of the opposite sex (or same sex for some individuals), an overwhelming need for contact-danger-excitement, sometimes to the extent of lacking control. What it means can vary from one individual to another.
Personally, hyper-sexuality hit me about my mid 20′s, which is one reason that I believe my DX at the time was incorrect. However, please understand that when depressed, there is NO such thing as hyper-sexuality. The last thing I want when depressed is to be looked at, touched, kissed… don’t even insinuate anything or I might have enough energy to roll my eyes and sleep on the floor. Hyper-sexuality always came out to play when I was in the throes of some form of mania. Sex was like a drug… the attention a rush. The quote at the beginning of this post nails it (pun intended). It almost becomes just another way to communicate… no need for any emotional connection at all (at least for me). And, best of all, nothing embarrassed me. I felt comfortable in my own skin, stretch marks and all. I became the most confident woman in the world… until the fall from Mania. Then the lights come on.
Please read up on this interesting, yet very real symptom of Bipolar Disorder. Especially if you are in a partnership with someone living with this disorder. It can help explain why he/she goes from a lump on the couch to a nymphomaniac porn-star nearly overnight.
Naughty, Naughty…Silly Meds!
It is perfectly fine to hope and dream…and to wish.
So, lately I have had a surge of wonderful energy… energy that I have been missing for almost a year now and I believe I know why.
I will share my naughty secret but please do not judge me…. I cut my med dosage in half not very long ago and I can feel life trickling back into my veins. I know… naughty, naughty, tisk, tisk, slap, slap… for being my own Doc and lessening my dosage. In the last couple days I have joined a gym worked out at the gym and at home and I feel like my bubbly, silly humor is creeping back into this numb brain.
Am I on the way to hypo-mania?? Or is this simply the wonderful balance of meds combined with feeling good about myself for feeling hopeful and inspired?? I do not know the answer yet, but I am sure the truth will come out very soon.
Naughty pills dulling my head. I want to feel SOMETHING… not just the everyday living of life. I want loud ridiculous laughs, my silly mannerisms, ecstatic happy moments, and yes… even those down moods. I just don’t want them in their severity.
Right now I am feeling A-OK and I will continue on this path. It is perfectly fine to hope and dream…and to wish.
If a readjustment is needed, I am not afraid to do so. ♥
Blog For Mental Health 2012 Project ~ My life with Bipolar 1 Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder ~ And Anxiety
Blog for Mental Health 2012 Project
My blog began as a place to vent, write poetry, and to tell my story. It was actually with a different blog host, under a different name, and I am BLESSED to have changed it to WordPress. My followers are amazing… and it was truly, TRULY a blessing to come here. As I have grown, my blog has reflected more than poetry, mental health, and my story… it is showing my “self” discovery and the hope that is shining inside. This hope I MUST share with others. Life is not always beautiful, but it is a beautiful life.
I am honored to take part in this Mental Health 2012 project. ♥
*This Mental Health Project was created by As The Pendulum Swings, a wonderful woman who suffers from Bipolar Disorder herself and wants to help raise awareness of mental health.*
The badge above is featured on Pendulum’s homepage, and on the homepage of those who take on this challenge, because we are dedicated to continue blogging throughout 2012 for mental health. .. to promote awareness. 
So, here are the rules.
1.) Take the pledge by copy and pasting the following into a post featuring “Blog for Mental Health 2012″.
I pledge my commitment to the Blog for Mental Health 2012 Project. I will blog about mental health topics not only for myself, but for others. By displaying this badge, I show my pride, dedication, and acceptance for mental health. I use this to promote mental health education in the struggle to erase stigma.
2.) Link back to the person who pledged you.
3.) Write a short biography of your mental health, and what this means to you.
My mental health reared its ugly head in my preteen years and has continued to get worse over time. After many years of being in denial, I had to finally accept my diagnosis of Bipolar 1 Disorder as well as a couple co-morbid Disorders such as Borderline Personality Disorder and Anxiety. Over the course of my life, I have had many life events that have exaggerated my mental health conditions and have caused me much heartache, as well to those I love. This last year has been a road of self discovery and finally to a place of hope. I have been compliant with medication and have felt better, on a mental level, than I have in many years. Now, as I grow in my healing process, I want to be a beacon of light for others who suffer. When I began my blog, I never thought I would have such a wonderful following of fellow bloggers who find inspiration in what I write. It is my pledge to continue writing about mental health. Knowledge is just the beginning, yet so very important. I also want to share my experiences in hopes that others can gain insight into themselves.
4.) Pledge five others.
I wanted to pledge others but then decided that if anyone with a mental health diagnosis would like to participate, please do. Our stories are important. We can offer insight and hope to anyone out there. Even if you do not feel like you inspire, please know that your daily fight is inspiration in itself. ♥
**Feel free to take the pledge! Promote awareness!**
Related articles
- Mental Health Writers Guild (carlarenee45.wordpress.com)
Ernest Hemingway Quote
“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”
So much truth to this wonderful quote from Hemingway, a very troubled man himself.
I feel like a great deal of my writing comes from pain and my poetry is a release from that pain that builds up. My poetry comes from a sad place that has always resided with me. Sadly, melancholy has had a place with me longer than happiness and I have come to a point in my life where a change must take place, and it is a change I am continually working on.
I was once told by a very brilliant woman that I did not suffer from a broken heart, but rather a bleeding heart. Broken could be fixed, bleeding is another matter in itself. I believe her point was that I feel pain with magnified senses. My normal mental pain is similar to what a person goes through when they grieve for a loss. They grieve during times when grief is expected. My grieving is constant.
When I was in therapy, my therapist was speechless over my intense pain. Pain that should have lessened over time but that still hung on to me like it happened two minutes ago. The wounds were always fresh. She told me I was in a constant state of grief. That is when I began learning about mindfulness and skills to help me to keep my emotions in a more acceptable, less painful range.
To my fellow writers, May we continue to sit at our keyboards and “bleed”. I believe it is healing and makes for beautiful works. ♥
Negative Thoughts
Negative Thoughts
Negative thoughts, painful memories,
As a screenplay in my mind.
Your invasions are pure trifling…
Perversely abate my precious time.
~
Oh, how I detest, loathe, the waste.
Your treacherous form, your very entity.
Withering my mind, heart, maybe my soul.
Taking invaluable, priceless, pieces of me.
~
Negative trifling thoughts…
I do not allow you to invade me anymore.
My mantra ” This thought is not helping me”.
I believe. Have implanted it, in my very core.
© bipolarmuse 2012
** One thing that I have taken to my core from therapy, which is based on mindfulness, is that negative thoughts can cause us much unneeded grief and pain. We revisit these thoughts all the time but the more we become aware of how often we do, we can actually lessen how often we revert to the negativity. So, my therapist recommended that each time I have a negative thought, to ask myself “How is this thought working for me”, or just say out right, “This though is not helping me”. It truly can help to divert your attention from the thought you are dwelling on. Try it. I know that it is not easy, trust me… I know. Suffering from mood disorders myself…I know the battle that is faced and that training the brain to think differently takes time. I do believe though that it can be done. With practice. Everything takes practice.
Try it. Next time your mind is boggling you down in negativity, take notice, and say, “This thought is not working for me”, then divert your mind to something you are grateful for. With patience and practice, this will become habit.
If it has helped me, it can certainly help you. **
♥ Love and Light my friends.
Tingles
Tingles up my spine, in my hands, feet, neck, head. Sounds magnified by a billion… clanks, swooshes, drips, music from a house over, barking dogs, cars, the energy in my head. I swear I hear clown cars, elephants, people murmuring, popcorn bags crinkling, horns, tinkering bells, shoes shuffling, children laughing, a circus in my head. Every sensation is intensified 100 fold.
Teaching Children Mindfulness
As I am here with my children, of coarse it is a memorable, happy, loving experience. They are encompassing me with unconditional love, and the beauty of what life is for me. We cuddle, and I hold them in my arms while they fall asleep. We exchange many “love yous” and “miss yous”, and of coarse they ask me heart wrenching questions that instantly make me cry. Some tears just cannot be held back. Children are the most open of any age group, and bold in their questioning.
From the moment I get to them, their minds jumps forward to when I have to leave. They are very smart and realize, that for the time being, my time with them is limited. So they project to the future and become sad, and anxious, and their tears flow. It is absolutely heartbreaking and I am not able to hold my tears back either. I hold them and remind them that I love them so very much and I miss them every second I am away. I then ask them to please not worry about when I must leave, but to enjoy the moment. The moment we have together right now is the most precious and we do not need to be sad and cry, but to be happy and have a great time together, whether we are simply watching cartoons or playing hide and seek. What we have in this moment is beautiful.
Though it is hard to say these things without a quivering voice and without tears streaming down my face, I must teach them… this moment is what we have… we must enjoy each and every second.
It is difficult, and being with them keeps me on the verge of tears, not willingly, but just as I came to visit… I will have to leave. Heartbreaking but true. I am staying in the moment though I must fight back my grief. I accept it… because it is what it is, for the time being .
I do hope my words touch somewhere in their heart and minds so that they don’t have to suffer unnecessarily… something I am continuously work on.
Love and light my friends…
United States of Tara
Image via Wikipedia
** DISCLAIMER**
I am in NO way making like of mental disorders. I suffer from them myself and I know how debilitating and serious they are. That being said, I believe we must have humor. A laugh to help myself get through this life, as I find it a must for my spirit and soul.**
I have found this TV series on Netflix and began watching it recently. It is about a woman who suffers from Dissociative Identity Disorder in which she has multiple personalities or “alters” as they call them on the show. The show makes me laugh so much, not because of the disorder, but the personalities themselves. I am not trying to insult anyone with the disorder, and I know there are different degrees of the disorder itself. For myself personally, they believe I have experienced a bit of the disorder because of blacking out very traumatic experiences… though I do not have other “personalities”. That being said, the series is great if you like to have a laugh. I do believe it is pretty accurate as well, as far as having multiple personalities goes. I recently re-read the book ” I’m Eve“, and was in awe with her stories. You can also look up youtube videos of interviews done with her switching personalities on command, you can search either by her real name, Chris Costner Sizemore, or by Eve White and Eve Black. Sounds like a fluke, but it was very real and you can read many accounts of her story. The reason I mention this is because the TV series seems to follow right along with the medical information and several truthful accounts of those who have this disorder. Only the show adds humor to it and it is not based on a true story of a specific person.
If you like to have a good laugh and a little insight to D.I.D, watch United States of Tara.
If you enjoy reading, the book I’m Eve about Chris Costner Sizemore is awesome. I could not put it down and read it in a couple of days. An amazing account of this woman’s life and how she reconciled her personalities.
This is my life through poetry, quotes, and my journal. The intense ride of my ups and downs of life ...and the relentless mood disorders I suffer from.
