Embrace Change
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another!
Gail Sheehy
Let us speak of change. Most are afraid of it and few are passionate about it. We can say we love to “change” all we want but is that reflected in our actions. I speak for myself when I say that change is good. Growth in self is good. However, to change…we must be willing to be uncomfortable, for that is the way to grow. It is not an easy task to make up your mind and step out of your comfort zone… but that is exactly what must be done in order for Change to come about. It is not instant gratification. It takes time to make that step and come out of your comfort zone to work on the change you wish to be, so it is a long term goal and one that may take time to become “comfortable” with.
We do need to walk away from pieces of who we are in order to gain the new… and while it is not always easy to do, it can be done.
Feed your mind positive affirmations and tell that committee in your head to shut its face… and do not fear to take that step out of your comfort level. You may be pleasantly surprised at what life has in store for you. ♥
Embrace and step out into the winds of Change.
Rumi quote
There are days when my mind will not stay still and it continuously runs memories through my mind like a reel.
When I found this quote, it reminded me that I need to practice quieting the committee in my head and start trying to focus on just my breathing and nothingness. When I put this into practice, I notice that I am more calm and at ease… and feel closer to my true self. Whether you believe in a Higher Power or not, this process gets you a step closer to your true self… to the exact “being” that you are… and you can connect with a beautiful light and energy that will help to heal your mind and heart.
This is what I wish for us all. ♥
Love and Laughter
May the love hidden deep inside your heart find the love waiting in your dreams. May the laughter that you find in your tomorrow wipe away the pain you find in your yesterdays. ~Unknown
What a beautiful sentiment that we can all find beauty in. Sometimes it feels like love eludes me, except for my children, but I know that deep down there is a place in me that love dwells, deep in my spirit and heart. I work continuously to let these granite walls down…to break them down… not an easy task but I am forever learning and growing.
Laughter is such a healing expression. I always feel better when I get a good laugh at something… so when I feel down, I will watch something that I KNOW will make me crack up. Sometimes it takes effort on my part, but once I get rolling with it, I feel so much better.
May you take this beautiful quote and take it to heart… find the love that exists in your dreams, and the laughter that heals your yesterdays.
♥
Shunryu Suzuki Quote
“When we have our body and mind in order, everything else will exist in the right place, in the right way. But usually, without being aware of it, we try to change something other than ourselves, we try to order things outside us. But it is impossible to organize things if you yourself are not in order.” ~Shunryu Suzuki
Wow! So much truth in this simple concept. We have to have our own minds and BODIES in control. Once we succeed in doing such, all else falls into place… where it belongs. I know myself personally, I am always trying to control external things that beyond my control. Releasing control takes practice but it brings much relief once you learn how to do so.
Perfect personal example: In 2008 I was in a constant state of anxiety/panic that when my blood pressure would be taken, it was through the roof. Since it was so high, they feared heart problems and sent me to a cardiologist. After running many tests and even using a halter monitor to monitor my heart beat for 24 hours, the doctor told me my heart was fine. My mind and body was not fine though because my mind was convinced I was dying, which made my heart RACE and body hurt. The cardiologist told me, “Once you get your anxiety in control, everything else will fall in place and your health problems will vanish”. He was right. Now, though I still have “white coat syndrome” from the experience, all of my other health problems have disappeared since my panic attacks/anxiety are under control (knock on wood).
A healthy mind will produce a “healthier” body, and a healthy mind and body will in turn affect our external environment.
Here is a little “funny” associated with this post…. when I read this quote, since my mind has been in a silly and fun mood, I instantly thought of Annie… And Miss Hannigan. LOL. Miss Hannigan was a mess and the orphanage was a mirror to the internal mess she was. “We love you Miss Hannigan”. Hahahahaha.
Related articles
- What Am I: Mind-Body Problem (thehumanbetween.wordpress.com)
Meditation and Self Esteem
Mindfulness is focused awareness of the present moment. Mindfulness lets us be fully conscious of a simple sensation like the warmth of sunlight or of the complex interplay between our thoughts and feelings.
By tuning in to mental processes, we are able to recognize that our thoughts are just thoughts; they don’t necessarily represent reality. We can observe them rather than being subject to them.
Mindfulness lets us absorb the richness of the moment instead of going through life with half of our attention on the past or future or our own mental chatter. The self-knowledge that comes from mindfulness lets us be more intentional in choosing priorities and actions that fit our life mission. * wisdomcommons.org
I simply cannot get enough of Mindfulness. There is so much to be said of this practice that I do not know where to even begin. I know I mention it often but it is something that truly can be life changing.
I want to state that even though mindfulness is a Buddhist based concept, it is not religion bound. Please do not believe that this amazing, life changing practice must be confined by the walls of religion. Just as Jesus’ kindness and compassion is not bound by the restrictions of a religion, neither is practicing mindfulness nor meditation.
I received a link from a fellow blogger Ben Naga to an article called The Fascinating Buddhist Approach to Low Self-Esteem. This article is brilliant and incorporates other Buddhist practices, aside from mindfulness, to help fix ones low self esteem issues. I am so grateful that Ben sent me this link as I am one who struggles greatly with low self esteem and I feel that this article can be beneficial to all.
~Individuals with defensive or low self-esteem typically focus on trying to prove themselves or impress others. They tend to use others for their own gain. Some act with arrogance and contempt towards others. They generally lack confidence in themselves ,often have doubts about their worth and acceptability, and hence are reluctant to take risks or expose themselves to failure. They frequently blame others for their shortcomings rather than take responsibility for their actions. NASE
So how do we fix self esteem issues??
**One of the main goals of Buddhist meditation is cultivating compassion and love, and several techniques focus on developing these qualities toward oneself.** If we want to cultivate compassion and love for others, doesn’t it make sense that we learn to cultivate these things for our “self” first? How can we truly give to others that of which we cannot give to ourselves?
The article describes a way in which a man is helped to direct warmth and compassion inwards…but it is a very tricky process because the “inner critic” or “committee” as I like to call it, starts in with its nonsense and gives its bullshit kind reminders of why love and kindness is not deserved. But by meditation and “asking” the committee direct questions, this gentleman was able to get over this hurdle and begin to accept the compassion and kindness unto himself.
PLEASE read this short 2 page article called The Fascinating Buddhist Approach to Low Self-Esteem, bookmark it, and put it into practice for yourself. I am just beginning and it is a true eye opener for me. I am hoping this approach will help me to OWN the love and happiness that I deserve to have. This technique will help me to get that damn committee in my head to shut its hole… it will help me feel the compassion I have for others, for myself. ♥
Thank you Ben Naga… you are a wealth of information and inspiration. ♥
It Is What It Is
A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be. ~ Albert Einstein
When I read this quote, it really resonated with me.
My therapist often says “It is what it is”. Which on the flip side means “It’s not what it’s not”. LOL, same thing?
For me, Einstein is saying that I should look for what “is”, what is directly in front of me and accept it…not project what “is” into what I think I want/have/need… etc. He is speaking “mindfulness” perhaps without even realizing it.
I absolutely LOVE mindfulness which is the root of DBT. (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy). It is a process of retraining our brains to think in a more positive direction. Our brain is like this committee that likes to spit out opinions, advice, and judgments. What we “think” is not exactly truth. We can “think” that we are worthless, stupid, ugly, unlikable… whatever. Is it TRUE?! NOPE. But the committee can sure convince us of it right? So using DBT/mindfulness, we can get that committee to shut up. How? Well, when my brain starts with that nonsense, I literally tell the “committee” to shut its face. Not aloud if in public because that could cause other unnecessary issues. 
But sincerely, I tell it to shut its face and concentrate for a moment on the “present”. I take note of the silence, maybe the birds outside my window. I take note of my breathing pattern, maybe pay close attention to how my skin feels as it “connects” to a soft blanket. I bring myself to the very second I am in. Then I redirect my thoughts. I choose to think that I am worthy, strong, independent, capable of what I put my mind into, capable of living and thriving, that I am beautiful regardless of how ugly my past mistakes were. I choose to think in a positive light. To be grateful for another day to grow. Lately, I have found tremendous happiness and satisfaction through my blog… feeling that I have offered some hope and inspiration to anyone who stops by to read.
Remember friends… “It is what it is”. If you do not like it, change it. If it cannot be changed, accept it. In practicing this, you will find more peace.
p.s. Getting that “committee” to shut its face will help too. Retrain your thought process!! Not to be done overnight, but it can be done. I have been practicing it now for 9 months and I am now seeing a “noticeable” difference. If I can do it, take faith that you can too. I believe in you. ♥
Related articles
- You: Dialectical Behavior Therapy for Borderline Personality Disorder (natashatracy.com)
Living in the NOW~ Joel Osteen Quote
As admirable as setting goals and reaching them may be, you can’t get so focused on accomplishing your goals that you make the mistake of not enjoying where you are right now.
Joel Osteen
I cannot stress enough the importance of living in the NOW. My hope is that more people can put this “mindfulness” into action to help their sorrows and anxieties. Goals to have are beautiful to be sure, but getting caught up in the future can make some stumble and fall. Many people set goals and do not realize that today is the moment to take those baby steps to the bigger picture. Nothing can come overnight.
Today is the day to set wheels in motion. Look around you and see the beauty in right now. Right now, birds are singing, the sun is shining its warmth upon us, the moon guides us by night, flowers are in bloom or getting ready to, you are reading and enjoying what you read, you are taking the steps forward to reach the bigger picture of who you are, you are growing.
We have the opportunity to give hope and inspiration to others. How about making eye contact, with a smile on your face, and saying hello to a person you do not know as they walk by you? Your smile may be the beauty they see in today.
Find peace in the moment. Sit and breathe, and do nothing but focus on your breath. Do this several times a day to help relieve the stresses of life.
Offer hope and love to others freely, this will bring you much happiness, and bring happiness to others.
Dalai Lama Quote
“Self-discipline, although difficult, and not always easy while combating negative emotions, should be a defensive measure. At least we will be able to prevent the advent of negative conduct dominated by negative emotion. That is ‘shila’, or moral ethics. Once we develop this by familiarizing ourselves with it, along with mindfulness and conscientiousness, eventually that pattern and way of life will become a part of our own life.~ Dalai Lama quotes
I often read of ways to combat depression. I think many of us who suffer it regularly read allot of self help books and look up information online. One option I read about was to keep a counter on you at all times and each time you have a negative thought, you click the button on the counter. This makes you aware of truly how many negative thoughts you have daily, and the number is usually astounding. This process makes you “aware” of your negative thought pattern and if each day you practice this, using the counter, you will make yourself more aware and the number will start dropping. Just the awareness, and mindfulness of the negativity you hold inside, will break the pattern of negative thoughts.You will begin to incorporate positivity into your mind and life, which will generate more positivity.
I found this piece of information very interesting and helpful. Though I do not use a counter, I do practice mindfulness and when a negative thought comes up, I will acknowledge the pain associated with it, then redirect my thoughts to something positive. For example: I think of my sons abuse. I acknowledge the pain, perhaps cry, and then I picture him how he is now… happy and healthy. What more do we want for our children?
Just a thought I wanted to share with you and I hope you take it to heart. Everything is worth the effort if it will bring peace of mind and happiness into our lives… keep this in mind my friends.
Have a beautiful weekend. Love and Light to you all. ♥
Oscar Wilde Quote
“A man who is master of himself can end a sorrow as easily as he can invent a pleasure. I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.” ~ Oscar Wilde
Master of thyself. Isn’t that what what many Eastern religions express… Buddha comes to mind. I want to be in control of what I feel, not allow these wretched emotions to rule me. I must separate myself from these false emotions and focus on what I can help. What can I help? My outlook on life, awakening to another blessed day and realizing it is a gift and not a curse.
I know friends… those who suffer with relentless mood disorders, sometimes that is easier said than done. I do TRULY believe it can get better. With proper care and a positive outlook on our day, can we not make our lives a bit brighter each and every day? Even when in a slump, take notice of what you are appreciative of, no matter how simple it is. It is pleasure… and if that small amount of pleasure can get you through another moment, all the better.
Keep a watchful eye. Watch for what triggers your horrendous mood swings, analyze them and see if they are “valid”… if they are, accept them NON-JUDGMENTALLY, and then do not dwell. We have purpose. Every single one of us. Keep that in mind my friends. Nobody goes unnoticed. Grasp what hope you can find and do not let go. Whatever inspires you, indulge in it. Live to your fullest potential. I know that what I say can be hard for some to understand… but take hope. I have hit bottom many times and managed to get back up. My trials have been HUGE… yet I move forward, improving each and every day. If I can do it, undoubtedly you can too.
Love and Light my friends. May you have peace on this day.
♥
Ernest Hemingway Quote
“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”
So much truth to this wonderful quote from Hemingway, a very troubled man himself.
I feel like a great deal of my writing comes from pain and my poetry is a release from that pain that builds up. My poetry comes from a sad place that has always resided with me. Sadly, melancholy has had a place with me longer than happiness and I have come to a point in my life where a change must take place, and it is a change I am continually working on.
I was once told by a very brilliant woman that I did not suffer from a broken heart, but rather a bleeding heart. Broken could be fixed, bleeding is another matter in itself. I believe her point was that I feel pain with magnified senses. My normal mental pain is similar to what a person goes through when they grieve for a loss. They grieve during times when grief is expected. My grieving is constant.
When I was in therapy, my therapist was speechless over my intense pain. Pain that should have lessened over time but that still hung on to me like it happened two minutes ago. The wounds were always fresh. She told me I was in a constant state of grief. That is when I began learning about mindfulness and skills to help me to keep my emotions in a more acceptable, less painful range.
To my fellow writers, May we continue to sit at our keyboards and “bleed”. I believe it is healing and makes for beautiful works. ♥
Negative Thoughts
Negative Thoughts
Negative thoughts, painful memories,
As a screenplay in my mind.
Your invasions are pure trifling…
Perversely abate my precious time.
~
Oh, how I detest, loathe, the waste.
Your treacherous form, your very entity.
Withering my mind, heart, maybe my soul.
Taking invaluable, priceless, pieces of me.
~
Negative trifling thoughts…
I do not allow you to invade me anymore.
My mantra ” This thought is not helping me”.
I believe. Have implanted it, in my very core.
© bipolarmuse 2012
** One thing that I have taken to my core from therapy, which is based on mindfulness, is that negative thoughts can cause us much unneeded grief and pain. We revisit these thoughts all the time but the more we become aware of how often we do, we can actually lessen how often we revert to the negativity. So, my therapist recommended that each time I have a negative thought, to ask myself “How is this thought working for me”, or just say out right, “This though is not helping me”. It truly can help to divert your attention from the thought you are dwelling on. Try it. I know that it is not easy, trust me… I know. Suffering from mood disorders myself…I know the battle that is faced and that training the brain to think differently takes time. I do believe though that it can be done. With practice. Everything takes practice.
Try it. Next time your mind is boggling you down in negativity, take notice, and say, “This thought is not working for me”, then divert your mind to something you are grateful for. With patience and practice, this will become habit.
If it has helped me, it can certainly help you. **
♥ Love and Light my friends.
Teaching Children Mindfulness
As I am here with my children, of coarse it is a memorable, happy, loving experience. They are encompassing me with unconditional love, and the beauty of what life is for me. We cuddle, and I hold them in my arms while they fall asleep. We exchange many “love yous” and “miss yous”, and of coarse they ask me heart wrenching questions that instantly make me cry. Some tears just cannot be held back. Children are the most open of any age group, and bold in their questioning.
From the moment I get to them, their minds jumps forward to when I have to leave. They are very smart and realize, that for the time being, my time with them is limited. So they project to the future and become sad, and anxious, and their tears flow. It is absolutely heartbreaking and I am not able to hold my tears back either. I hold them and remind them that I love them so very much and I miss them every second I am away. I then ask them to please not worry about when I must leave, but to enjoy the moment. The moment we have together right now is the most precious and we do not need to be sad and cry, but to be happy and have a great time together, whether we are simply watching cartoons or playing hide and seek. What we have in this moment is beautiful.
Though it is hard to say these things without a quivering voice and without tears streaming down my face, I must teach them… this moment is what we have… we must enjoy each and every second.
It is difficult, and being with them keeps me on the verge of tears, not willingly, but just as I came to visit… I will have to leave. Heartbreaking but true. I am staying in the moment though I must fight back my grief. I accept it… because it is what it is, for the time being .
I do hope my words touch somewhere in their heart and minds so that they don’t have to suffer unnecessarily… something I am continuously work on.
Love and light my friends…
Many Are Strong In the Broken Places
“The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places.” Ernest Hemingway
This is a beautiful strong statement that rings validity. Think of it this way… broken bones in your body heal pretty darn quickly… the legs being the slowest because they are weight bearing. Within a certain amount of time (I think 1 year, maybe less), a broken bone is completely healed and is in actuality stronger where it was broken. (Please correct me if I am incorrect).
Isn’t that a testament to who we are as humans?? When we feel broken and shattered, in time… the strength becomes more than it had ever been. The will and determination ignites with a fierce passion. The hard part is that we want instant gratification instead of waiting for that healing and building process to take place.
Have faith my friends… we heal. Maybe slowly at first, but with diligence and perseverance we can do it! I believe in the power of the human spirit!!
© bipolarmuse 2012
Mindfulness For Sunday
“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” ~ Dalai Lama
This quote truly needs to be taken by heart. How many times have we offered love, compassion, and kindness to friends and loved ones, even at times to strangers in need… offering hope, reminding them that the events they are hurting from will become easier.
Yet we do not take the time to do so for ourselves.
For myself personally, I am my worst enemy. It was brought to my attention that I still retain much guilt over the pain of my past. Past mistakes that, because I was not fully in control of my emotions, has caused me terrible grief. A mourning if you would. A hurting from the pain I have caused to others as well. I continue to inflict this pain upon myself and keep the wounds open, not allowing full healing to take place.
Friends, this love and compassion, yes it must be extended to others. It gives a great feeling within to do so… brings a peace and an enlightenment. Yet, we must also water our own souls with this same loving kindness and compassion. We must forgive ourselves. How that is done, I am not sure. I do believe acceptance is the key, and a lesson I am learning the hard way.
I have hurt myself the most by my past. Others have already moved forward and accepted it, but perhaps never forgetting, the terrible pain I have caused. I must move forward and do the same. I must love me. In doing so, I will open my heart and learn to fully love others.
I am, as I have mentioned before… a work in progress.
I will do it, I have faith.
© bipolarmuse 2012
Mindfulness thought of today.
I agree.
If you do not experience hardships or sorrow, how do you know and experience the true value of happiness and personal growth?
I do not believe in such a thing as “always happy”, but I do believe in peace. Even in our darkest moments, there is light… you just may have to search a little harder to see it. There is the peace that comes with acceptance and going with the flow, though sometimes our minds want to rebel against such a thing.
Yesterday and its sadness, mistakes, and shortcomings are gone… no time machines to go back and fix it. Today, this moment, we can make changes to prevent the wrong doings of our past from repeating itself. Tomorrow is never guaranteed. Right this moment is the only moment we have. We can still plan for the future and have hopes, dreams, and goals, but take the steps to reach them today… and hope tomorrow comes.
If not, you lived today to its fullest potential, and find contentment in that knowledge.
p.s. Never pass an opportunity to offer love and kindness.
© bipolarmuse 2012
Mindfulness originates in Buddhism, Buddha himself said: “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” Read more: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/b/buddha.html#ixzz1iO2bYLwv
Where am I going with this?? I am going to tell you a little about DBT ( Dialectical Behavioral Therapy ). This type of therapy uses mindfulness to help you control your emotions… as people with mood disorders have a difficult time regulating their emotions and keeping them within healthy boundaries.
Mindfulness is paying attention, in a positive way, on purpose, non-judgmentally. It is a way to be in the moment effictively, without letting it overtake you. ~ Jon Kabat-Zinn
For example: Always looking to the past can cause serious depression. We all have “coulda, woulda, shoulda’s” and it is impossible to go back in time to fix things with your present time 20/20 vision. So, when you are looking back you are inflicting mental torment on yourself that you can do nothing about. The past can be a great learning tool, but only use it as such. Being mindful, every time your brain takes you to the past, to a hurtful memory, accept it non-judgmentally, maybe cry a little if you need to, but redirect your mind to the present moment.
Looking to the future can cause anxiety because you are always saying “what if”. The future is not the here and now, only the present moment is. And if your present moment is causing you distress you can either change it or accept it. You will find that by accepting it, if it can not be changed, you become less worried and anxious.
Maybe you say to yourself: “I made poor decisions in my past”. But you have to remind yourself that you never chose to make a poor decision, you made decisions and choices based on all of your experiences up to that specific point in time: We make the best choice possible based on our experiences up to that moment in time.
Here is a personal example. My son was abused by a horrible man, beaten by this horrible man. Some days it just kills me because the thoughts just come flooding over me. As I type this, I cry. Practicing mindfulness, I am getting better at redirecting my thoughts. When I think of my sons abuse, I acknowledge the anger, sadness, and various emotions that take me hostage…and WITHOUT JUDGMENT. After I do that, if I cannot take my mind off of it, I redirect me thoughts to my “gratitude” list: my children are healthy and happy. My family has been very supportive. My home has been created with someone I love. I am loved. I am getting better everyday. My children are the beacon in the darkness. – just a few examples. If I STILL cannot take my mind off of it, I become active and do things I enjoy. Perhaps go for a walk and try to be mindful and take in the beauty of our planet, read a good book, blog, crochet, make candles (when I have the resources, lol), and I use to exercise often, which I need to begin again because it is a great way to stay healthy mentally and physically. You get the idea here.
Mindfulness does not work overnight. It is something that must be practiced daily… and allow it time to work.
Some great books on mindfulness: The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle, Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn, Mindfulness for dummies.
There is allot of online material about mindfulness. Some sites offer Mindfulness self help, others are scholarly articles. If you do research you will find many resources that can help you. And I find great books at the library, so you definitely do not have to spend money to start practicing.
Hope this post is helpful. I find that practicing mindfulness can be life altering… but it is not overnight. It has helped me tremendously but I have not reached my full potential, I am still healing.
I also want to state that though mindfulness is the practice of Buddhism and other religions, it is nondenominational. It is not affiliated with any one religion.
May peace by with you all…
Related articles
- Mindfulness Meditation Is Rediscovered – Newsweek (thedailybeast.com)
This is my life through poetry, quotes, and my journal. The intense ride of my ups and downs of life ...and the relentless mood disorders I suffer from.
