This is from the book “The Flight From Intimacy”… how Counter-Dependent are you??
This is lengthy but will give you an idea of how many characteristics you have.
Place a number next to each sentence… indicating the degree to which the statements apply to you. Then tally em up at the end!
1=Never, 2= Occasionally, 3= Frequently, 4=Almost Always
I feel a kind of free floating anxiety when I have nothing to do. ___
I look to other people, substances, or activities to make me feel good. ___
I have a difficult time knowing what I want or need. ___
I fear that I will be smothered if I get too close to my spouse or friend. ___
I have a difficulty knowing how I really feel inside. ___
I exaggerate my accomplishments a bit when I meet someone new. ___
I get anxious when m partner wants to be intimate with me. ___
I’m afraid people will find out that I’m not who they think I am. ___
I demand perfection of myself and others. ___
I work long hours and never seem to get finished with my work. ___
I don’t like to ask other people or help, even id I need it. ___
I prefer to work alone rather than with others. ___
I feel controlled by what others expect of me. ___
I feel it is really important to have the “right answers”. ___
I get afraid of being consumed by the needs of others. ___
I function best in structured situations where I am in charge. ___
I feel important when someone asks me for my opinions. ___
I find it difficult to form and maintain intimate relationships. ___
I have trouble deciding if I want sex or nurturing touch. ___
I have trouble relaxing, and I have chronic tension in my body. ___
I enjoy being the center of attention at social gatherings. ___
I don’t like to admit to a mistake. ___
I reject offers of help from others, even if I need it. ___
I have thoughts about sex each day that interfere with my work. ___
I see myself and others as either all good or all bad. ___
I compare myself to others, feeling either better or worse than them. ___
I am told that I am not aware of the needs or concerns of others. ___
I feel hurt when an accomplishment of mine is not recognized. ___
I deny my problems or discount the importance of my problems. ___
*** Total score (add all the numbers) ______
Here are the results:
102-120 VERY HIGH number of counter-dependent behavior patterns. Can have a serious effect on your functioning level.
79-101 HIGH number of counter-dependent behavior patterns. Can have a moderate effect on your functioning level.
56-78 SOME counter-dependent behavior patterns. This range has a minor effect on your functioning level.
30-55 FEW counter-dependent behavior patterns. This range has little or no effect on your functioning level.
This quiz is taken directly from the book itself, I do not take credit for it of course, because it isn’t mine. This is simply a guideline… a quiz to make you more self-aware. If you scored high, I recommend scheduling an appointment with your Doctor to discuss what these results mean for you. ALWAYS seek medical advice from a Doctor. I am not a Doctor, nor a therapist. I am simply someone riding the roller-coaster of life and sharing it with you.