Mark Twain Quote
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. ~Mark Twain
I love Mark Twain. He is one person that I would love to meet if I could go back in time.
How true is this quote?? It speaks volumes to me. I know that forgiveness is a huge step to my healing process and believe me, it is something I am working on. The past is done, no going back, and I do not want this mental baggage that keeps me below the surface of the water I feel like I drown in at times.
But how do you go about forgiving yourself? I know it is a part of letting go, and I know that in doing so, I will feel more at peace.
Some things feel too difficult to forgive. I know that I will never forget, but the pain will lessen with forgiveness.
How do I leap this hurdle? How do I look in the mirror and forgive myself of my past transgressions? Forgive the despicable man who hurt my son.
I know that forgiveness must take place, and that I must learn to love myself in order to heal.
I would love suggestions on how to do so. How to leap over this monstrosity that seems to take over my mind… not at all times, but more frequently than I would like.
Blessings to you all on this beautiful day. ♥
Song by SHAWN MCDONALD
Usually I am not one who particularly cares for Christian music, with a few exceptions of coarse, and this artist is one of those exceptions. His name is SHAWN MCDONALD. This song is very captivating with its smooth uplifting beats, and the lyrics speak to me on a personal level. Just thought I would share it with you, maybe you will be touched or inspired as I have been. ♥
Taking Rides On Dandelion Fluff
Dandelion fluff: When fairies dance upon the air, reach out gently and catch one, fair. Make a wish and hold it tight, then softly toss your pixie back to summers night.
~from the novel The Weight of Silence.
~
Fairies flittering here and there
Against the wonderful night,
So fair.
Riding the moon beams in elegance,
Careless and free, leaving pixie dust
As remnants.
In whispers they call out to me,
To impart their grace,
their peace.
Taking rides on Dandelion fluff,
owning a certain bliss.
Offering a considerate hope, a moment
For me to wish.
Sitting in the beauty of
the night,
Gazing out into the
magnificent sky.
Fairies dancing, playful,
nothing amiss.
To dance, be carefree, relieve my pains,
I wish.
© bipolarmuse 2012
Link in Autism, Bipolar Disorder, and Schizophrenia
My third child, my youngest son, was diagnosed with Autism at a young age. He has a very high functioning form of autism and has excelled in every aspect. His speech is fabulous, his spontaneous speech is getting much better, his interaction with others is pretty good… I don’t see many of the traits he had when diagnosed. He no longer “hand flaps”, and he is pretty good with eye contact. He is HIGHLY intelligent and is over the top in all his test scores. A small, yet silly example: We were walking in costco and they had these HUGE stuffed animals for sale. We were playing with them and of coarse the kiddos each wanted one. Their Dad said, “I don’t think so those are 50$ each”. My 6 yr old, in Kindergarten, looked at the price sticker and said “No Dad, they are 49 dollars and 95 cents not 50$”. He is amazing with numbers. Before he could hardly talk, he know all the numbers to the Thomas the Tank Engine Trains and their names. LOL. That being said, he has severe mood swings and gets very anxious and uncooperative on a whim. He can be happy go lucky one minute and then his mood just flips.
I have been reading about the link to Autism and Mood Disorders. I found it very interesting that most autistic children will have a family history of Bipolar Disorder/Manic Depression.
Here is a short article, including the link for the website I found this information.
From: http://blogs.wsj.com/health/2008/05/05/mental-disorders-in-parents-linked-to-autism-in-kids/
**Parents of children with autism are about twice as likely to have been hospitalized for mental disorders than parents of other kids, says a study published in the journal Pediatrics.
**Depression and personality disorders were more common among mothers but not fathers of autistic kids. The researchers found that schizophrenia was about twice as common in both mothers and fathers of children with autism.
**The link between parental disorders and a child’s autism was present regardless of whether the parent was diagnosed before or after the child. This pattern suggests that the association may be genetic, not a matter of a parent getting depressed over a child’s diagnosis.
**The work confirms earlier findings that showed psychiatric disorders are more common among family members of people with autism. A history of schizophrenia-like psychosis or affective disorder in a parent, for instance, sharply increases the odds of autism for a child.
Here is another link to The Journal of Neuropsychiatry about this subject. This article is, of coarse, a more scholarly article.
I find this interesting because I know that Bipolar Disorder can be highly hereditary. And watching the intense moods my son has, just seems to confirm what these article are saying. I also want to state that my son has always displayed these quick changes in mood since he was about walking age… so this was previous to the abuse he suffered. Also it was noted that some children will be diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorders and then later in life drop that diagnosis and be diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.
When I found out my son had Autism, I wondered why, and how. He is a beautiful gift from God to be sure… and I think now I may have the answers to my “why” and “how”. ♥
Sunshine Award
Thank You Sherline, Ramblings of a Creative Mind for this nomination. I have been very blessed by knowing this amazing woman. She is full of wisdom, kindness, and has been an inspiration to me in the short time I have known her. Her words have been a blessing to me and I am full of gratitude. Please visit her blog and you will see the beauty I see. This nomination touches my heart. I am proud and honored that my blog has touched many people. ♥
The Sunshine Award, like all other rewards, has some rules:
- Include the award’s logo in a post or on your blog
- Answer 10 questions about yourself
- Nominate 10-12 other fabulous bloggers
- Link your nominees to the post and comment on their blogs, letting them know they have been nominated
- Share the love and link the person who nominated you.
TEN QUESTIONS
- Favorite color: Deep purple, yellow drinking glasses, baby blue shirts, red hair coloring.
Little black dresses. - Favorite animal: Monkey! They are CRAZY little things. Very creative.
- Favorite number: 8. Has no beginning, no end, and is an even number. I prefer the evens.
- Favorite non-alcoholic drink: Tea or Dr. Pepper
- Prefer Facebook or Twitter? Facebook. I am still getting the hang of Twitter.
- My passion: My Children. Writing. Poetry. Reading. Learning.
- Prefer getting or giving presents: Both. You must give to receive.
- Favorite pattern: Bling bling. I love shiny things. You can’t go wrong!
- Favorite day of the week: Wednesday
- Favorite flower: Tulips, Lilies.
My nominees are the the following fellow bloggers below:
August Wilson Quote
“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.” August Wilson quotes
This, my friends, is beauty. “Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength”. No matter the pain we must endure, there is always that light we are able to find. It may not be seen immediately, we must be patient, there is no instant gratification in this process. We are all capable of rising above our challenges, to be free of unnecessary mental anguish. Look hard within. Take note. Fight your demons and find the way out of that hole, find that light. Even some light in the world of darkness brings hope, strength, and the power to heal.
Blessings to you all this lovely night. ♥
Child Abuse
This post is going to be a hard one for me. It has to do with my sons abuser… of which I do not want to say his name. Here is a link to the post I made about him in 2010 http://bipolarmuse.com/2010/04/25/who/ , and also, here is a link about my sons abuse, also written in 2010 http://bipolarmuse.com/2010/06/07/bruised/. Please look over any curse words, I was in a very, very dark, sad, lost state of mind.
Recently I received an email from an ex-girlfriend of the abuser. She stumbled up my blog after googling his name and had some questions for me about this despicable man. Since my sons abuse I had 20/20 vision of coarse and have openly believed and claim that he has a disliking for boys and LOVED girls. Sounds perverted right? I believe this because his actions and simple mannerisms make me feel this way. And of coarse, he abused my son, and not my daughter. He openly professed that he was ecstatic that his children were girls, not boys. This lady contacted me because she had a son and was around the despicable man when her child was a young child…she was concerned that maybe her son had been abused as well. She specifically asked her son if he was abused by despicable man and he assured her he had not been.
I was so grateful her son did not endure what my son had. I cannot even repeat the cruelty he inflicted upon such a sweet innocent boy at the tender age of 4, my son. Hearing from her brought back a wave of emotions and images that I cannot shake at the moment. I take comfort in knowing my son is healthy, happy, and that he is flourishing. 2 years later my son still remembers the horror he went through. It haunts me. He associates me with that horrible man in little ways. I hope in time, that will lessen.
Child abuse is disgusting. And sadly, people get away with it all the time, get a slap on the wrist. When I was going through group counseling to recognize the signs of abuse, all the women were in denial. They did not believe their “boyfriend/spouse” was abusing their child. I was the only person in the group who knew it was despicable man and made clear that it was.
I am mad they didn’t have enough evidence to arrest him for my sons abuse… but I am happy too. Why? Because what he did after sent him to federal prison for 15 years. He robbed banks, and restaurants and did not get away with it.
Justice sometimes comes back around… maybe not in the way we would like. For child abuse, he would have had a light sentence, for armed robbery, 15 yrs is wonderful.
But why my son? I ask that question all the time. Why my precious little boy?
Ransome Notes
Ransom Notes
Traveling in these wicked twists and turns in my head,
How has this happened? I would love to find,
A most comfortable place to rest my mind.
Hide.
These winding turns, alluring as they my be,
I do not want to pick this ugly fight.
Though you hold me hostage, with strength and might.
I Fight.
I have begged for your unearned trust.
You leave invisible ransom notes,
Promises. Just as invisible. Sinking boat.
Yet I float.
I cannot make happen, what will not be.
I cannot force this aching heart, to feel,
That which will not, cannot be real.
I heal.
© bipolarmuse 2012
Masquerade Mask
Masquerade Mask
Lost and empty, yet a full room of faces.
A fake smile, a masquerade mask.
Hiding behind tears, never to truly reveal
Exactly who I am.
Embarked on many adventures, had many plans
I got myself into a slump,
Taking on changes I couldn’t handle.
Now I endure these bruises, nurse these lumps,
Find some way to pull myself out of
This sadness, fear, this self inflicted slump.
I just can not get things out of my head.
Over and over my wicked mind spins,
Engulfing me in its dangerous web.
Again, Again, and again.
© Bipolarmuse 2012
SIBYL MAGAZINE
Have any of you heard of Sibyl Magazine?? I got an email saying that I could submit poetry to them for a contest. Is this a legit company??
All comments would be appreciated. ♥
Matisyahu
I know I have mentioned Matisyahu and added a link to his amazing cover of Bob Marleys Redemption Song,
But I would like to mention him once more. I cannot get enough of this artist. He is a unique individual with a very interesting story.
He mixes up his music with a bit of rock, reggae, and beatboxing, he is a very talented artist. Very fascinating and captivating. After rebelling from his faith he got mixed up in drugs and traveled as a Phish follower… then he pulled it together and is now back into his religious roots. Not only does he do some covers, he also has is own music.
Here is Matisyahus cover of Use Somebody by Kings Of Leon.
It is a bit long because he does a couple short narratives about why he covered this song.
I literally wake up with his rendition of Redemption Song. Amazing how an artist can touch you.
Here is his cover of Redemption Song… it is long as well, so I apologize for the 15 minutes it will take you to get through this post. 
I hope you enjoy his style as much as I do. ♥
Tag, your It!! ABC Award. Fun Times.
I want to give a shout out to two wonderful bloggers who nominated me for this fun award!! Thank you My Own Avalon and UponAtlas. I am honored you thought of me for the nomination. I enjoy trying to describe myself with the ABC’s, gives me a challenge. LOL.
1. Thank the person who nominated you
2. There is no limit to how many fellow bloggers you can nominate so go crazy
3. Share some things about you but alphabetically just a word or two about you starting with each alphabet. (Or alternatively, just write the first word you think of.)
So this is what I have chosen to describe me.
A – Attitude
B – Believer
C – Cautious
D – darn crazy
E – Extraordinary
F – Fighter
G – Glitter
H – Heartfelt
I – Irreplaceable
J – Jolly
K – Kinetic
L – Loving
M – Meek
N – Nervous
O – Open
P – Passive
Q – Quick
R – Rowdy
S – Sacrifice myself for others
T – Troubled
U – Unusual
V – Victorious
W – wax and wane
X – Xanax
Y – Youthful
Z – Zealous
And here are my nominations for the award, no particular order:
Stop by them, read and enjoy!!!
Awards = Awesome Fun! Vesatile and Liebster
I have been very happy to receive several blog awards this month and I am just now getting this post together to pass on the awards. I apologize for how long it has taken… I have been in a bit of a slump but am pulling out!
The first award is the Versatile Blogger Award.
Thank you so much Gjscobie for thinking of me for this award. It is always an honor and blessing to be recognized by my fellow blogger friends and I am always humbled by the love shown here.
The rules for the Versatile Blogger Award are :
1. Nominate 15 fellow bloggers. (I may deviate from this one a little).
2. Inform the bloggers of their nomination. (I shall try hard to do so).
3. Share 7 random things about yourself.
4. Thank the blogger who nominated you.
5. Add the Versatile Blogger Award pic on your blog post.
Seven random/interesting/fun things about me:
I love red wine
I am from Las Vegas (lucky me)
I am almost completely gray headed though I am not “old”. LOL. But my kids say I am old.
I waited on Britney Spears, her Mom, Sister, and Brother in Vegas. She didn’t tip well.
I wish vampires were real, I would be one. And not prey on humans. hahaha. Unless they are bad humans.
I couldn’t sleep last night.
I bite my nails and hate it.
**Nominations are at the end of this post.**
I was also nominated for the Liebster blog award and must THANK Gjscobie and also42nd Chance.
I must say that each time my blog is nominated, I am not happy for my “self” per say, but that my blog and my writings are most definitely touching the hearts of those who read. I am happy that through this forum, I can speak openly and honestly about my disorders, all the while throwing some poetry in the mix.
*Liebster is German & means ‘dearest’ or ‘beloved’ but it can also mean ‘favourite’ & the idea of the Liebster award is to bring attention to blogs with less than 200 followers all in the spirit of gathering more connections
Show your thanks to the blogger who gave you the award by linking back to them.
Reveal your top picks for the award and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
Post the award on your blog.
Bask in the love from the most supportive people on the blogsphere – other bloggers.
And, best of all – have fun and spread the karma.*
Here are my nominations for both the versatile blogger and Liebster award… of coarse in no particular order. I tried to choose new peeps as it gets very difficult to not “renominate” blogs. These are blogs I like to pay close attention to, that I believe I have not passed an award on to. If I have, please forgive me… lol… my memory is shot.
Seasons Chane and Change and Change
Sherline’s watchu Thinkin’ Blog
Halfway Between the Gutter and the Stars
Ernest Hemingway Quote
“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”
So much truth to this wonderful quote from Hemingway, a very troubled man himself.
I feel like a great deal of my writing comes from pain and my poetry is a release from that pain that builds up. My poetry comes from a sad place that has always resided with me. Sadly, melancholy has had a place with me longer than happiness and I have come to a point in my life where a change must take place, and it is a change I am continually working on.
I was once told by a very brilliant woman that I did not suffer from a broken heart, but rather a bleeding heart. Broken could be fixed, bleeding is another matter in itself. I believe her point was that I feel pain with magnified senses. My normal mental pain is similar to what a person goes through when they grieve for a loss. They grieve during times when grief is expected. My grieving is constant.
When I was in therapy, my therapist was speechless over my intense pain. Pain that should have lessened over time but that still hung on to me like it happened two minutes ago. The wounds were always fresh. She told me I was in a constant state of grief. That is when I began learning about mindfulness and skills to help me to keep my emotions in a more acceptable, less painful range.
To my fellow writers, May we continue to sit at our keyboards and “bleed”. I believe it is healing and makes for beautiful works. ♥
To Dust It Turns
Everything I touch, even in loving kindness…
To dust it turns. Never to be in original form again.
The devastation too great, melancholy relentless.
There is a certain truth in “Ignorance is Bliss”.
~
I gasp, I tremble, I undoubtedly cry.
Trying dauntlessly to prevent this sand…
From slipping through my fingers. Holding tight.
There is no holding it, it seeps through my grasp.
~
I stare longingly at that sandy floor.
Collecting all the broken, to put it back in place.
However, this devil in me, an old friend for sure,
Allows me not. For the devil enjoys this relentless pain.
© bipolormuse 2012
Bipolar? Interesting Tidbits…
Here is some information I find disturbing and slightly humorous.
*A marriage where 1 or both individuals have Bipolar disorder is nearly doomed. I say that with a grain for humor… laughter is good medicine. What are the stats for this little tidbit of info?? Nearly 90-95% of marriages, with a Bipolar person involved, end in divorce. That is a HUGE percentage. I can certainly understand why though, as I have made many catastrophic decisions without truly thinking them completely through. In fact, I have made huge decisions on a whim, causing my world to collapse on many occasions.
*ALL of my medications have side affects… some of them downright horrible, most tolerable that disappear after a few weeks, and a few that can give you a heart attack after reading the warning. What is the side affect warning that can bring on this heart attack?? “This medication can cause SUDDEN DEATH“. LOL, Do you know how many panic attacks that this simple phrase causes me? I cannot tell you how many times I have been relaxing, watching a movie, and all of a sudden felt dizzy or “odd” and thought – is this the start of “sudden death”-. Yes friends, I can tell you that happens to me frequently and I say quick silent prayers asking God to “remember me” and “let my children know how much I love them”. Funny and horrible right??
*There are activities that can help your Bipolar disorder. (These are proven true by the medical community and by personally doing these things). One is exercise. Yes, if we can get the motivation to get our butts up and stick to a routine, exercise does wonders for improving the mood. Here is the problem for me: I get addicted. I will work out hours a day, 7 days a week. I almost believe the exercise can make me slightly manic, but hey… better than slightly in the opposite direction. Another is eating healthy. Not sure how or why, but this one does help as well. When I eat better, I feel better. Maybe it does have to do with the “You are what you eat” phrase. It too can be addicting. LOL… but addicted to bean sprouts is better than addicted to peanut butter cups. And lastly I would like to mention this one, which may or may not be proven by the medical world. Recently I was reading a book about mood disorders and the book was written by those who suffered themselves and also by those closest to them. One man was saying that as a mood “boost”, his goal (and his wife said that it did indeed work), was for his wife to orgasm daily. It would help her mood no matter what… if nothing else worked, she could always count on the orgasm. LOL. I find this one highly interesting and of coarse it makes you chuckle a bit doesn’t it?? And I would bet that this one could be addicting too.
Just some food for thought!!
Happy Friday My Friends! ♥
1-in-100 Warrior Award
~This award is more than an honor to me… it feels like it is also a milestone in my journey to healing.~
**From Miro’s blog itself:
“Out of every one hundred men, ten shouldn’t even be there, eighty are just targets, nine are the real fighters, and we are lucky to have them, for they make the battle. Ah, but the one, one is a warrior, and he will bring the others back.” ~Heraclitus
Courage. Honesty. Fearlessness. Grace. Peace. Service to others. No complaints. Nothing thought of as a blessing or a curse; everything simply accepted as another challenge to be conquered.
They’re not perfect, and don’t try to be, because they know such aspirations are futile. But they do the absolute best they can with what they’ve been given. Warriors no longer have potential. They are potent! They understand that knowledge is knowing, but wisdom is doing. And they are a very rare breed: as Heraclitus once said, only one out of every one hundred is a true warrior. This award is named in honor of those words and that truth. The symbol of the sword is used to represent their courage and strength, and the symbol of the feather quill pen represents their grace, beauty and creativity.
Guidelines for the 1-in-100 Warrior Award: Warriors are not motivated by awards or fame. They see awards not as an opportunity for the ego to rejoice, but rather an opportunity to honor other warrior brothers and sisters. To acknowledge and honor the rarity of the warrior, it is recommended that the recipient passes this award on to only *one* other blogger that they feel goes above and beyond to serve and inspire others, and who maintains their grace and positivity even in the face of difficult challenges, such as health issues, tragedy, injustice or loss.
Once an author is given the award, they may continue nominating one new blog author once a week, month, year… or whatever seems appropriate. It’s like a knight’s ability to bestow knighthood onto another whenever they choose. But only one at a time. The patience of a warrior is required. **
~ I just want to say that I put allot of thought into who I would like to give this award to, and I am grateful that I can give it weekly, or monthly, because so many people here have inspired me and deserve the 1-in-100 Warrior Award.~
~~ I would like to nominate Celeste, Mortal Hearts With Immortal Souls at http://celestealluvial.wordpress.com/
As I have journeyed along this blog world and met new friends, she has inspired me very much and has shown me that life can be a beautiful road, even with the bumps we encounter along the way. Her blog is positive and beautiful, and powerful in the way that her words move me. Celeste is a selfless, kind soul and has offered me much support and lifts me up daily in her thoughts so I can find a healing path, as she knows I truly can. As I have gotten to know her personally, I KNOW that obstacles I face, and those of many others, can be overcome.Celeste has shown me that there is a light at the end of the darkness and that I can make my journey to that light. She has found peace within herself that she lovingly wants to share with me… and that peace is expressed in her blog as well. I encourage you to find inspiration, as I have, in her writings. She picks me up again, and again, and I am so happy I have found such a wonderful person and a beautiful blog to help guide me in this confusing world.Thank you Celeste, you have touched my heart and soul.
Again, her blog is http://celestealluvial.wordpress.com/
Please visit, and enjoy.
♥
A Year Ago
A Year Ago
Lost, lonely, confused and dazed.
Sad, frightened, drinking during the day.
The hours, minutes, seconds on the clock,
Meant nothing. Just an annoying “tick tock”.
Living each night, hooting with the owls.
Days just as easy, drowning time in alcohol.
Losing sight of goals lined up, goal defined…
During a very distressed, manic state of mind.
Surely to not succeed, to tall and high, those dreams.
Created from just a fraction of the one I call “me”.
Sorrow and Failure enveloped me. Wicked tools.
The devil brandishes them, just wicked fools.
But they plant seeds and plot my destruction,
Barely a fight in me, other than to follow instructions.
I know I am not destined to leave in this way,
I reach out to those, who won’t give up for me, not today.
I prayed for my babies to light the road, the right path.
Sacrifices were made. Though most made me more sad.
I had to fight, giving up was not an option for me…
Fight for them, fight for me. No other way to be.
I cried all hours of the day, and at night I could pretend…
Life was amazing, full of purpose, just Grand.
I crash and burned each and every day.
Was never sure how long I could endure the pain.
Endless phone calls, desperation… all I could do was cry.
Slept on the couch of a dear friend, when I feared for my life.
A year ago, sadly this was the tale of me.
One year later, though not healed, I am much more complete.
Sadness, an old friend, can still reign.
But now, in this loving place, happiness has a place.
♥
© bipolarmuse 2012
Lets Talk Mood Swings~ and a Quote
“On a bad day I have mood swings- but on a good day, I have the whole mood playground”.
~Charles Rosenblum
I have been reflecting on my blog and looking through my various posts and poems.
I do not know if my faithful followers have noticed, but I can see a significant mood swing simply by my works alone on this blog… but only one. Granted, I am usually pretty fortunate and very in tune with my moods and I can usually spot them from a mile away. This one I didn’t really see. Why? Because it was very gradual.
I believe I started off in a normal mood, and then it gradually escalated to perhaps a “hypo-manic” type, and then cycling (which would explain the crying spells/blues/irritation though I felt overall pretty well), and then a bit of depression. A “normal” depression though because it came after I visited my babies, so that is a normal “grieving” process. Sadly, it has lasted over a week, but I do feel a steady increase in it wearing off. Yesterday was a sad day, but also one to rejoice in. And today I get to shop for discounted Valentine’s items which makes me happy. Here I come knee high socks covered in hearts and my favorite, Ring Pops!
I just noticed the mood swing and wanted to see if anyone else had noticed it a little bit. LOL, or maybe I am off my rocker. Hehe, just a joke. Got to have fun and laugh… it is good for the soul.
As for the quote, I found it hilarious! HAHA, the “whole mood playground”? I am not sure if I would only want the swings or the whole enchilada but nevertheless, I found it funny and thought I would share.
I hope all had a nice Valentine’s Day and showed themselves and others some love… and continue it daily. We deserve that for ourselves… and kindness to others will help us as well. ♥
Negative Thoughts
Negative Thoughts
Negative thoughts, painful memories,
As a screenplay in my mind.
Your invasions are pure trifling…
Perversely abate my precious time.
~
Oh, how I detest, loathe, the waste.
Your treacherous form, your very entity.
Withering my mind, heart, maybe my soul.
Taking invaluable, priceless, pieces of me.
~
Negative trifling thoughts…
I do not allow you to invade me anymore.
My mantra ” This thought is not helping me”.
I believe. Have implanted it, in my very core.
© bipolarmuse 2012
** One thing that I have taken to my core from therapy, which is based on mindfulness, is that negative thoughts can cause us much unneeded grief and pain. We revisit these thoughts all the time but the more we become aware of how often we do, we can actually lessen how often we revert to the negativity. So, my therapist recommended that each time I have a negative thought, to ask myself “How is this thought working for me”, or just say out right, “This though is not helping me”. It truly can help to divert your attention from the thought you are dwelling on. Try it. I know that it is not easy, trust me… I know. Suffering from mood disorders myself…I know the battle that is faced and that training the brain to think differently takes time. I do believe though that it can be done. With practice. Everything takes practice.
Try it. Next time your mind is boggling you down in negativity, take notice, and say, “This thought is not working for me”, then divert your mind to something you are grateful for. With patience and practice, this will become habit.
If it has helped me, it can certainly help you. **
♥ Love and Light my friends.
A Robert Frost Quote
The woods are lovely dark and deep, but I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep.
Robert Frost
I have always interpreted this quote for myself in relation to my mood disorders. Relating the woods to death, or giving up this good fight as I like to call it…
But the rest of the quote is what inspires me.
” I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep”.
There is such beauty in this quote. I remind myself that I have promises to myself, to those that I hold near and dear, to my beautiful babies, to my Creator. This fight is never in vain. It is worth every struggle, each pain endured, every tear shed.
It is the good fight my friends… and no matter the struggles, just hold onto whatever faith and whatever hope you can find.
Simple words from a friend, a smile, a kind gesture, the beauty and hope that a new day offers, your dreams and goals. Always start small, baby steps, to reach the bigger aspirations.
And do not forget to love yourself, to LEARN how to love yourself. Say to yourself… ” I am worth it “… because you truly are.
♥ Love and Light my friends. May you have peace and beauty in this day.
Liebster Blog Award!!
I was honored with this awesome award a second time, this one from Cat (CatForsley.me) I cannot express enough how happy I am to be shown the love.
Thank you, Thank you!!!
We got guidelines my Peeps, so here we go.
1. Show your thanks to the blogger who gave you the award by linking back to them.
2. Reveal your top 5 picks for the award and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
3. Post the award on your blog.
4. Bask in the love from the most supportive people on the blogsphere – other bloggers.
5. And, best of all – have fun and spread the karma.
HERE ARE MY NOMINATIONS- this isn’t going to be easy, I want to try to give these nominations to new people I have recently “met”. And I also chose a variety of bloggers… from poetry, inspiration, and mental disorders.
I am Learning Still
I am Learning Still.
” Oh my son, Look at what I’ve done.
But I am learning still, learning still,
Know that I am learning still. ” Missy Higgins
~When I was visiting my smallest children this past week… my son (who is six) was asking the difficult questions that parents often face. I wish they were easy questions, like why is the sky blue? Or, why do birds fly south for the winter?
Oh, no. His questions were about broken hearts, and why I hurt his Dad… and why I moved him to a new place where he was hurt ( he was abused by a despicable person ). All I could do was cry, and apologize over and over, for I know he hurts so.~
**My dear son,
Some things just cannot be answered.
I would have readily taken your place,
Taken the abuse, hurt, pain.
I just pray you do not question my love…
**
For you,
I would take away your painful memories.
I would sacrifice my very life.
Readily take away every sliver of your pain, your strife.
Take the poison. To prove my love for you.
**
I cry every single day.
For all the pain my actions caused.
Still a fresh wound, a kind of mourning.
Know that I am learning still. Please forgive me.
Standing, or kneeling, for you I constantly pray.
**
© bipolarmuse 2012
Have Faith
“When you have come to the edge Of all light that you know And are about to drop off into the darkness Of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or You will be taught to fly”
Sometimes the darkness can be overwhelming, and that is where faith and hope reside, or where they should. I remind myself of this quote often because I need a beacon of light to direct me, to offer me faith that things will and do get better.
In time.
Don’t you hate the “In Time” phrase? I know that I hate hearing it, but there is so much truth in that short phrase. We all want instant gratification, which is not the way to faith and peace. Patience is the way. Finding faith in ourselves is the way. Finding faith that builds us up is the way.
So have faith, feel the power that whether in the darkness or light, you will have something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.
♥
Aspire
Dream
Hope
This is my life through poetry, quotes, and my journal. The intense ride of my ups and downs of life ...and the relentless mood disorders I suffer from.
