Take Flight
Did you fly through the magnificent sky?
Touch every star, a-twinkle, in your reach.
Imagine heaven was found in your eyes,
A most beautiful flight, one made of dreams.
~~~~
Drowning as you swim through a million tears.
Hushed whispers of dreams never to be met.
Will you look upon me and see my fears?
Whisper in my ear, give me hope instead?
~~~~
Passing Jupiter with Saturn in view.
Flying past Neptune, heaven is your mark.
Praying for your soul to be cleansed anew.
Riding to the soft glow of light afar.
~~~~
Touch my dreams with your kindness and your love.
Sit on stars and shine as I gaze above.
© bipolarmuse 2012
Release
You are burned into my mind…
with a searing heat, relentless.
Always meant to be mine…
Though I tried with might
to release you.
You invade my land of dreams…
with visions of love
You will never release me…
You held to a promise
I never thought you would.
Violate me with your love…
You dance behind my eyes
Leaving no place to run…
Held for ransom
With no way of paying.
© bipolarmuse 2012
This was inspired by B. He has been on my mind a-lot and has been visiting me in my dreams.
6 days until the anniversary of his death.
New Soul – Haiku
Photographer: Ekaterina Grishekina
Bright eyes held to mine
Your soul peers deeply through me
Not old, instead new
© bipolarmuse 2012
Did you ?
Did angels fall, one by one,
from the sky?
Or have the stars, each its own,
stop twinkling in your eyes?
Did the moon, in its soft glow,
fail to bring peace?
Did the calmness of night, so fair,
bring you to your knees?
Did you whisper of forever, not yours,
under moon beams and twinkles.
Did you promise your heart, treacherous,
not seeing that it is fickle?
Did you?
© bipolarmuse 2012
Counting The Days
I am counting the days…
accumulating the pain,
hidden in your wicked ways.
Can’t you play nice?
You tricked me already, twice…
choking on all your lies.
A tragic ending…
where there should have been a beginning.
I wake up forgetting.
© bipolarmuse 2012
Bipolarmuse♥ WOW
** This is a little excerpt of my life that took place in the year 2000. The story is true to my memory and feelings in that moment. Thank you for taking the time to read… it truly means a-lot to me. **
WOW
Work is slow and I have been having a good time mingling with my customers, getting my hustle on… being a food server has its benefits.
I notice B’s family standing at the front of the restaurant, they are asking for me to be their server.
I love when they do that. They genuinely mean something to me and I am flattered when they come by and visit.
I sit down at their booth with them for a few minutes while taking their order.
- How you doing baby girl? -
This nickname is addictive apparently, because B’s Mom, my Aunt, and B all use it for me.
~ I have been good. Me and B have been doing well. ~ I lied. We were doing well under the circumstances of our relationship.
- Well we wanted to talk to you. -
Uh- Oh. This is either good or it is bad.
Anxiousness kicks in.
- We love how B has changed since you came into our lives. We love you and want you to marry him. -
I am floored. I had been thinking of proposing to him myself, but hadn’t gotten that far with the idea.
- We can help you guys get a house and with the wedding. B is such a different person with you and we welcome you into our family.
I pick my jaw up off the floor.
~ Wow, I am so happy that you feel this way. I have been thinking of marriage, and B and I have been talking about it a little. ~
- Well, just know that we want you as our daughter in law. -
This is epic, poetic. I have no words…
They cease from escaping my mouth.
All I know is…
WOW.
© bipolarmuse 2012
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Changes ~ Haiku
Sorrow in my heart
Pain comes on the heel of change
In the rain I bloom
© bipolarmuse 2012
Wonder Woman
I can be your Wonder Woman.
Watch me spin nothingness…
and place the world into your hands.
I can give a glimpse of eternity.
Never whisper a promise…
Unless it can come to be.
I can be your Wonder Woman…
watch me light the corners of night…
Give you all, except who I am.
Take my hand and lets fly high…
I can take you to magnificent places…
Make every cell within come to life.
© bipolarmuse 2012
Self Publish Poetry
Ok ladies and Gents, I have a twofold question that I could really use your help with.
1. Has anyone used Lulu.com to self publish a poetry book?? They have a pretty simple program that allows you to “build” your poetry book.
2. Would any of you like to recommend some of your favorite poems so I have a better idea of what I should include as I am not going to put them all into one book.
So if you have any faves… please leave a comment with your favorite. I am open to any ideas!
The first I am adding for sure is Your New Soft Soul and probably the Goodbye Haiku. I really want to add The Muses and Show Me as well.
I know I am asking a huge favor from you because I am sure you will have to go searching through my posts, but even if one person gives me some feedback, I will be stoked!
Thank you my friends. ♥
So many Endings
With so many endings,
I create new beginnings.
I gave my best, I gave my all.
I fear it was not enough at all.
Your apathetic look hurts,
Like kerosene it burns.
I lost forever for an eternity,
I traded for that devil in me.
In your fortitude of saintliness,
I hope you reach bliss.
So many endings,
So many beginnings.
I hope you reach your forever,
While I bask in mine right here.
© bipolarmuse 2012
My Inspiration
My inspiration for writing I held You For a Moment.
~~~
I was looking through old pictures, trying to find some pics of B, and I sadly reminded myself that I have only a few. None of us together. Where they have all gone is beyond me. I didn’t get any pictures back from his collage at his funeral but I am certain I still had “some”.
They are completely gone.
The pictures I did find stopped me in my tracks.
I found his viewing/funeral pictures.
Yes, I took pictures of him in his casket.
I can remember thinking (at his viewing) that he looked so good. You have to remember that I believe I saw B at his worst when alive… so that doesn’t help with my observation.
I did hold him a moment… in a picture… in my hands.
I stared at the picture and realized just how horrible he did look… how different than what I remember. I thought he was so beautiful at his services.
And now…
Well now, I just want some real pictures.
♥
I Held You For A Moment
I held you for a moment,
Breath paused, hands trembling.
You feel so nice in my hands.
I am in awe, fascinated.
Your skin, I want to touch badly
I whisper for just “The chance”.
I held you for a moment
Time ended, moments stopped.
I feel the depths of your dreams.
You pull at me, pull me under…
Your eyes held me, entranced.
As I lay you in the dusty box of broken dreams.
© bipolarmuse 2012
Show Me
Don’t give me the world,
It is not for me to have.
Show me its glory,
From your backyard instead.
Don’t give forever,
For it isn’t to be had.
Stop the hands of time,
Show me timeless instead.
© bipolarmuse 2012
Before The End
Before The End
In uncomfortable moments of discontent…
Silence prevails, as it is meant.
A Tame tongue and darting eyes…
Keeps truth from parting lips. Rumors hide.
~
When is sorrow, profound, meant to be?
And countless tears turn into a sea?
When is a mountain of courage needed by all?
Before the end. The crumble and the fall.
© bipolarmuse 2012
Bipolarmuse ♥ ~Haunted~
HAUNTED
Dark and chilled.
Shivers travel my spine.
Come on and take a ride…
With me through my world.
~~~… (“I love you baby girl”)…~~~
Is that you??
Baby boy, was that you I heard?
Please come, I’d like you to learn,
This void within my world.
~~~… (“Ten times more baby girl”)…~~~
Sad and broken.
In my heart, misery exists.
Your smell on my skin. Taste on my lips.
Are you in my world?
~~~… (“I love you more baby girl”)…~~~
Where are you?
You’ve forgotten. Remember the promise?
The shivers, chills, your breath on my back… HAUNTED.
Please come to my world.
~~~… (“I miss you baby girl”)…~~~
I WANT IT!
Screaming madly in my head…
Have I gone mad instead?
I WANT IT…
to be HAUNTED.
Like you promised…
HAUNTED.
Welcome to my world…
~~~… (“Hugs and kisses baby girl”)…~~~
© bipolarmuse 7.24.2002
**This poem was written nearly two month to the day after the suicide of my ex. It was no surprise that he killed himself, he talked about it all the time. I made him promise to haunt me if he did die, and I can honestly say I feel like I was haunted for quite some time.
Every passage ~~~…(“like this”)…~~~ was something I found written in my books, photo albums, or on slips of paper hiding in places for me to find. They were truly his words that I found within the first year after his death. I incorporated his verbal “hauntings” into this poem that was written nearly 10 years ago. Just something I wanted to share. ♥ **
Precarious ~ Haiku
Have you met my soul?
She’s a precarious thing.
Your silence proves it.
© bipolarmuse 2012
Always Keep Trying
I LOVE this quote. Courage comes in all different forms and I believe that even when we feel defeated… when we make the decision to try again tomorrow… it takes a great amount of courage to do so.
It is not easy to feel life beat you down every single day…to feel like every effort is made with pain, made in vain. But to make the decision to move forward and to try again day after day. That is true courage.
I know for myself, the silent roar of courage made behind the veil of tears have been my most courageous moments. Those have been the moments that took the most strength and willpower to move forward and not give up.
Don’t feel that you are weak… every single day you make the effort to get up… to go about your day no matter how difficult it can be… and every single day, whether it ends in tears or starts with tears… you resolve to keep trying.
That is strength and that is courage. I applaud you.
My friends, you are not alone. Your struggles are never in vain… please know that you have purpose. ♥
Day 22/30
Day 22: What do you want your future to be like?
I want simplicity.
I want to be content with what I have and who I am.
I want to watch my children grow up and to be there every step of the way cheering them on in every aspect of their lives.
I want to grow older gracefully.
I want to find work that I love to do.
I want to continue writing and self publish my traumatic past, my mindful- more positive present, and my poems.
I want to look forward without fear of where I may go.
I just want to be a ship going with the flow. ♥
Charmed
Charmed
Firefly utopian dreams.
Dandelion wishes…
Riding on pixie wings.
~
Enchanted lands…
Offering magical secrets,
In mother natures hands.
~
Riding on dreamy rainbows…
Pure in light, take flight…
Unseen wings travel to lands unknown.
~
Whispers hushed…gently carried.
Charmed only for those,
Who are awake and ready.
© bipolarmuse 2012
Dexter Morgan ~ 5/7/5 Poem
Hehehe, don’t make fun of me. Dexter is my all time favorite show/dude and I came up with this 5/7/5 poem (I won’t call it a Haiku). Don’t judge. LOL
Dexter TV love
A blood spatter dream come true
Won’t you kill for me
© bipolarmuse 2012
**BAM!**
As you can see in my gravatar, I am a Dexter fan, donning a shirt proving such. Not only does the shirt prove my undying love for him, but I also use a quote of his on my gravatar. That is how I roll.
Here is another pic for your enjoyment.
“Three olives, shake it up, I like it dirty” Muahahahaha.
Rare steak and martinis are my fav!!!
Bipolarmuse ♥ Not With A 10 Foot Pole
Not With A 10 Foot Pole
I live for “after” work hang outs.
As usual everyone is headed to TGIFridays for the late night happy hour libations. Oh yes, this is where I get my drink on and drink my HUGE mug of Killians with a straw. Yes, I just said that.
Tonight has such a wonderful air to it. Everyone is pumped to be off work and the men and women are having a good time flirting, smoking, drinking. I’M having a fantastic time drinking and flirting… I am single, I can do these things… that’s how I roll.
I am with my room-mate when another friend from our work joined our group with a handsome…no strike that… HAWT friend in tow. Happens to be that they are cousins and room-mates. Nice.
So I am sitting across from the cousins and the HAWT one is completely eyeball fucking me with these wild eyes. I can’t tell you what any of the conversations are about because all I can pay attention to is those wild eyes burning into me.
Sure, I am a fairly pretty girl, but this man is above my league. He is tall, muscular, gorgeous, masculine… yet beautiful in a “pretty” way. His clothes were crisp and pristine, his hair in place. My immediate thought was “Greek God”. Seriously.
Luckily for me, the bar closes at 1am so I do not have to worry about Hawt dudes searing gaze for very long. I was highly intimidated by him.
Low and behold… right under my nose, the room-mate makes plans for an after “party” with the cousins at their apartment. Fucking Great!! I don’t know what it is about Hawt dude but I want nothing to do with his playa’ playa’ self. I was disgustingly pleased she made the plans behind my back, yet at the same time resistant.
While still at the bar, Hawt dude and I make small conversation. I remember none of it except his wild eyes and his nervous cackle. Oh…and yea… that he doesn’t “do” girlfriends.
Well lucky for you Hawt dude because I don’t do boyfriends either. We are on the same page.
Everyone stands to leave and I grab my room-mate by the arm and whisper in her ear…
~Don’t let me touch him with a 10 foot pole. ~
I had a gut feeling that Hawt dude was bad news… BAD news.
Her response is so classic…
-Will you at least touch him, just once, for me then. -
FUCK! No roomie… no, no, no. Not with a 10 foot pole.
And so, tonight I met B (aka Hawt dude)… and we started our two year love affair.
Don’t trust 10 foot poles, they never work. I can honestly say I didn’t touch him, not this night.
© bipolarmuse 2012
** This is a little excerpt of my life that took place in the year 2000. The story is true to my memory and feelings in that moment. Thank you for taking the time to read… it truly means a-lot to me. **
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The Muses
The Muses
The Muses…
They whisper in my ear.
In awe, I stare…
As words fall…
From their sweet lips
To paper, in pieces and bits.
~
The muses…
Their eyes show me a story.
They ask for no recognition, no glory.
The words storm in my heart…
Indeed flitter in my mind.
Created to be shared, not held as mine.
© bipolarmuse 2012
This is my life through poetry, quotes, and my journal. The intense ride of my ups and downs of life ...and the relentless mood disorders I suffer from.
